Do Not Disturb
by Cheating Death
Summary: All Hidan wants to do is sleep after working the graveyard shift all night. Is that really so much to ask for? Apparently it is, considering half of the damn town seems hellbent on making sure that doesn't happen. Rated M for swearing.


**So here's my newest HidaHina one-shot. It's rated M for you-know-who's constant swearing. It's pretty freaking stupid but I hope you at least find it to be somewhat amusing.**

**Do Not Disturb**

Hidan slowly trudged into his house, grouchy and exhausted from work. Why the hell had he offered to work the damn graveyard shift in the first place? _Because I'm a fucking moron_, he thought bitterly.

He practically threw his stuff down the hallway after kicking the door shut behind him. It wasn't as though he wasn't used to staying up half the night, since he regularly went to the bar at night and usually didn't leave until two or three in the morning. It was the fact that he had been so bored out of his mind that had made the night seemingly endless. Working as a security guard was an already dull job in his opinion, and sitting on his ass all night long was almost torture. Sure, there was nobody there to piss him off, but there was also nothing for him to do. Seriously, why couldn't somebody had broken into the store and try to rob it? That would've given him some excitement during his extremely boring ten-hour shift. His only options consisted of playing games on his phone, or browsing through porn on his phone. Both had lost his interest within the first hour.

"Whatever, at least I'm fucking home," Hidan muttered, yanking his shirt off as he shuffled towards his bedroom. "Now I can get some fucking sleep..."

He made it to his room and impatiently took off his shoes and socks, then tugged his pants off. Now wearing only a pair of boxers, he flopped down face-first onto his bed, not bothering with the covers. He closed his eyes and let himself relax on the soft mattress.

However, not even ten seconds after he had laid down, the doorbell rang. Angrily, he lifted his head and gazed at the clock on his nightstand. It was ten in the morning, and, in his opinion, way too early for anyone to be bugging him.

"What the fuck," he growled as the doorbell bell continued to ring relenetlessly. "Fucking dammit!"

The silver-haired male dragged himself off the bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants that had been lying on the floor in a heap. He padded barefoot out of his room and went down the hallway to the front door.

Hidan yanked the door open, understandably pissed. "What the hell do you want?"

There was a young man at his door, who was wearing a strange green spandex outfit. His black hair was styled into a bowl-cut and his eyebrows were on the thicker side. _They look like two fucking caterpillars on steroids..._

"Good morning, sir! My name is Rock Lee, and I am here to explain-"

"Are you like a Jehovah's Witness or something?" Hidan cut him off dryly. "Because I'm telling you right now that I'm not fucking interested. I'm a Jashinist, and anyone who tries to get me to change my religion will get their ass kicked."

Lee laughed heartily. "No, nothing like that. I'm not going door-to-door for anything religious. I'm just trying to show people the joy of embracing their youth!"

"The fuck are you talking about?" Hidan mumbled groggily. "I'm twenty-two. That's not fucking old."

"Even if you are sixty-two, you can still enjoy life to the fullest as long as you-"

"Okay, I don't fucking care," the silver-haired man snapped, in absolutely no mood to hear what he had to say. "Now, if you don't fucking mind, I'm going to shut this door and then crawl back into bed for some much needed fucking sleep."

Lee smiled, undeterred. "Can I interest you in this book? I wrote it myself, and it can give you tips on how to enjoy a healthier, more youthful lifestyle! A young man of your age shouldn't still be tired at ten o'clock in the morning. I suggest a banana and then going for a jog!"

Hidan gave him a blank stare, before slamming the door in the weird kid's face. Really? He had gotten out of bed for _that_? What the fuck...

"It's okay, I will leave a copy outside of your door!" Lee called to him through the closed door. "Have a nice day, sir!"

"It would've been nice if morons like you let me fucking sleep," Hidan grumbled as he tiredly went back to his room.

He shuffled over to his bed and flopped down onto it for a second time, letting out an exasperated sigh. Finally. Some much needed sleep. He closed his eyes and just started to drift off when he heard the doorbell ring yet again.

"The fuck?" Hidan groaned loudly, now even more pissed. "Is it that same motherfucker?"

He waited a few seconds to see if whoever it was would just go away. Nope, no such luck for the sleep-deprived male. The bell rang several more times, followed by knocks on the door. Seething with rage by now, Hidan trudged back into the hallway, and stormed over to the front door. Ripping it open, he was now greeted by two girls who looked to be around eighteen. One girl had her long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, while the other kept her shorter pink hair down. Both were carrying medium-sized black cases. They exchanged smiles upon seeing the attractive, shirtless man. None of them seemed to notice the book that had been set on the ground in front of the door.

"What the fuck do you want?" He asked grumpily. "I'm trying to fucking sleep."

"Hi, there," the blond, Ino, said flirtatiously. "We're going door-to-door to sell our make-up products."

"Would you like to view our selection?" Sakura asked, opening her case to show him a display of various products. "We have blush and eyes shadow!"

"Lipstick and lipglosses!" Ino added. "Powder and bronzer!"

"Eyeliner and mascara!" Sakura continued in that irritating fashion.

"We even have perfume!" They shouted unanimously.

Hidan stared at them, a look of sheer annoyance on his handsome face. "Do I _look_ like I wear fucking make-up? Sorry, but I'm pretty sure that I don't perform in any drag shows or anything."

"Well, maybe you have a girlfriend who would like something," Sakura suggested.

"Or future girlfriend," Ino hinted with a wink.

"Thanks for the fucking offer," Hidan remarked dryly. "But I'm happily single and it's going to stay that way. Besides, I'd rather not date any girls who wear enough make-up for a whole circus of clowns. Seriously, didn't anyone teach you guys how to put it on properly? Are they hiring at Barnum and Bailey's or something?"

"We don't wear that much make-up, you asshole!" Sakura snapped, her temper flaring.

"And you have poor marketing skills," Hidan pointed out. "It's not smart to insult a would-be customer."

"But you flat-out said that you didn't want to buy anything," Ino angrily retorted.

Hidan smirked. "Exactly. So go the fuck away." With that, he slammed the door in the faces, tuning out their complaints as he went back to his room. "Fucking annoying ass bitches..."

He crawled onto his bed, face-planting onto his pillow as he let his sore body plop down. All he wanted was to fucking sleep. Was that too fucking much to ask for!? Seriously, it was like someone _wanted_ him to kill someone.

"Fucking finally," Hidan mumbled, closing his eyes for a third time. "No more disruptions..."

Two minutes went by and just as he let out a soft snore, yet another ring of the doorbell jolted him awake.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" He yelled, hurling his clock against the wall. "WHAT THE FUCK! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL SOMEONE!"

Storming to the front door to confront this would-be sleep disrupter, he yanked it open so hard that it banged back against the wall. To his dismay, he was face-to-face with a familiar orange swirled mask.

"Oh, Hidan Sempai! I didn't know that you were here!" Tobi said cheerfully.

"I fucking live here," Hidan muttered, resisting the urge to kill him. "Tobi, what the fuck are you doing here in the first place?"

Tobi laughed sheepishly. "I came here to see Deidara Sempai! He told me that this was his address! See?" He held out a piece of paper that had Hidan's address written on it.

"Did he now?" The silver-haired male asked icily, his eye twitching. "Deidara told you that _he_ lives here?"

"Yup! He even gave me directions on how to get here," Tobi informed him.

Hidan growled. "Deidara lives on the other side of fucking town. He gave you _my_ fucking address instead of his. When you see him, tell him that I plan on dismembering him very slowly and painfully."

"Okay, will do! But...where does he live?" The masked boy questioned.

Silently cursing their blond friend, Hidan quickly jotted down the correct address and practically shoved the paper into Tobi's hand. "There. Now go the fuck away and don't come back. Just remember to give Deidara that message."

"That you plan on dismembering him very slowly and painfully," Tobi repeated. "Got it! Bye Hidan Sempai!"

Hidan slammed the door shut and locked it, his heart racing as he tried to calm himself. His head hurt, his eyes were burning, and he was seriously considering on murdering the very next person who dared to bother him.

Trudging back to his bedroom, he practically threw himself on top of the mattress. He waited a few minutes, making sure to listen for any more unwanted visitors. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had this many people knocking on his door. Oh, wait, he did. Fucking never! And of course now that he was cranky and sleep-deprived, it seemed that every person in the damn town was hellbent on making sure that he didn't get any rest.

"Fucking ring the doorbell, you fuckers," he mumbled, somewhat delusional. "I fucking _dare_ you."

Minutes passed, and he heard no ear-shattering rings from the doorbell. Nor did he hear any pounding on the front door either. It seemed that whatever bullshit he had just put up with the for the past several minutes had come to an end. Finally.

With a content smile, Hidan closed his eyes, waiting to drift off into some much-needed slumber. He shifted to get comfortable, and yanked the covers up to his waist. Just as he had found the perfect position, he heard the doorbell ring yet again.

"ALRIGHT! THAT'S FUCKING IT! I'VE HAD IT!" Hidan picked up the chair from his computer desk and hummed it into the wall. "I'M KILLING THAT MOTHERFUCKER!"

Intent on murder, he stalked out of his room and went over to the front door. Whoever had rung the bell had only done it once, but that didn't lessen his rage at all. They had dared to disturb him and he had just lost the very last thread of his patience.

"WHAT!?" He yelled, ripping the door so hard that they nearly came off the hinges.

Hidan was greeted with the sight of two girls, one of them with a small red wagon behind her. The girl who had her grip on the handle looked to be about ten or so, with pale lavender eyes and straight brown hair that came to about her shoulders. She was dressed in a yellow short-sleeved shirt and a green skirt that came to her knees. A green sash filled with various badges was draped across her chest, and Hidan could tell right off the bat that she was some type of girl scout. She didn't seem intimidated by the fact that he had nearly broken his own front door.

"Hey, you wanna buy some cookies, mister?" she deadpanned, pointing at the row of boxes in the wagon. "I win a bike if I sell the most out of my entire troop."

The other girl appeared to be about eighteen or so, and looked pretty terrified. She seemed to be the younger girl's sister, as she had identical lavender eyes. However, her hair was a bluish black shade that tumbled all the way down to her waist. Her skin was like porcelain and her lips were a soft rosy pink, parted slightly in shock as she stared at him fearfuly. She wore denim capri pants and a white tank top under a white and lavender sweater. Even under the sweater, Hidan could tell that she had quite a rack on her.

"Well, do you wanna buy any cookies or not?" The younger girl asked when Hidan did not respond.

"Hanabi," the older girl chastised gently. "Please do not be rude. We obviously came at a bad time, so maybe we should just leave this man alone."

"Ah, c'mon Hinata," Hanabi sighed. "I'm not being rude, I'm just asking him a simple question."

Hinata looked at Hidan apologetically. "I'm sorry about this. We'll leave right now-"

"Now, hold on a fucking minute," Hidan cut her off sharply, causing her to flinch. "What exactly do you two want again?"

"Cookies," Hanabi replied flatly, as if he was an idiot. "I'm selling cookies so that I can win a bike and brag about it to that stuck-up priss in my troop, Ruki, who wins every year."

"I see..." The silver-haired man couldn't help but stare at the older girl, Hinata. He had to admit that she was pretty cute, much more than the other two annoying girls from earlier.

Hinata blushed lightly under his gaze, then turned even redder upon realizing that Hidan wore no shirt. She had been so stunned by how he had nearly yanked his door off to notice right away. Now it was her turn to stare at his bare, toned chest for a few seconds, before shamefully tearing her eyes away out of embarrassment.

Hidan smirked, amused by her reaction, before turning to Hanabi. "Alright, I'll buy some damn cookies. What kind do you have?"

As Hanabi went down her list, Hidan barely paid attention, most of his fixation on her older sister. Hinata fidgeted slightly under his searing gaze, before shyly looking at him. She had to admit that he was very handsome and looked to be a few years older than herself. His silver hair was slicked back from his face, and his eyes were a violet shade, much darker than her own. And he wouldn't stop staring at her. Hinata reverted her gaze back down to the ground, tucking some hair behind her ear.

"So, what kind do you want?" Hanabi asked, snapping Hidan out of his daze.

Hidan took a quick look at the selection in the wagon. "I'll take six boxes of the mint kind, four boxes of the peanut butter ones, and your sister's cell phone number." He hated children, but if it would help him score a date with some girl scout's hot older sister, then he might as well buy some damn cookies from the kid.

Hinata quickly looked up at him again, stunned. "W-What?"

"Okay," Hanabi replied, not finding anything odd with his third request. "That'll be 400 yen per box. Ten boxes will be a total of 4,000 yen."

"Alright." Hidan went to go grab his wallet, grinning when he heard the older girl begin to talk to her sister frantically.

"H-Hanabi, you can't just go and give out my number to random people," Hinata said worriedly.

Hanabi shrugged absently, getting the boxes from her wagon. "He's not a random person. As far as I can see, he is now my most valued customer. I mean, ten boxes? Nobody around here buys that many boxes at one time. Chouji was put on a strict diet from what I was told, or else I would've already been sold out. And come on, this guy's hot."

Hinata gaped at her ten year-old sister. "That's not the point. What if..."

"What if I'm crazy? Don't worry, I take meds to help with the voices," Hidan said, suddenly returning with his wallet and cell phone. He chuckled softly at Hinata's stunned expression. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding."

Hinata sighed with relief, then looked at him with uneasiness. "Do you...really want my number? What for?"

"Why not? Unless you have a boyfriend or something, I don't see what the big deal is," Hidan replied with a smirk.

"Nah, she's desperately single." Hanabi stacked his boxes in the doorway. "She likes some dopey blond kid but he wouldn't know it if you drew a freaking picture and waved it in his face. He's not very bright."

"Hanabi, that's not very nice. I'm not desperate," Hinata said softly, though she couldn't deny it. Naruto _was_ pretty dense. Even after fourteen years of knowing him, he still didn't realize that she liked him. And this older guy was really attractive...maybe she should at least give him a chance seeing how he was willing to buy ten boxes of cookies from her sister.

"So, how about it then?" Hidan asked, waiting expectantly.

Hinata hesitated, before nodding her head slightly. "O-Okay. Um...can you at least tell me your name?"

"Hidan," he told her with a flirtatious smile as he handed her his phone.

Blushing feverishly, Hinata quickly entered her number into his phone and saved it into his contacts. "I'm Hinata..."

"Pretty name for an even prettier girl," he commented, causing her to turn redder than a lobster as he handed Hanabi the money he owed.

"Cool, thanks mister." Hanabi counted it hurriedly, then stuffed it into an envelope. "Oh, and if you're interested in buying more cookies in the future, feel free to contact Hinata."

"I'll keep that in mind," he replied, his gaze still fixed on Hinata.

The older girl smiled softly at him and handed him his phone back. "Well...I'll see you later I guess."

"Onto the next house!" Hanabi said excitedly as she raced back down the driveway, dragging along her wagon.

"Hey, wait up, Hanabi!" Hinata hurried after her, glancing back over her shoulder. "Bye."

"See ya." Hidan watched as she chased after her sister, asking her to slow down. "Maybe this day didn't suck completely."

He gathered up the boxes and kicked the door shut, then went into the kitchen. After he tossed them onto the table, he wandered back into his bedroom. Flopping down onto his bed, he closed his eyes with a content sigh. He would give her a call after he woke up. But for now, he needed sleep...

Hidan turned on some music, using it to drown out any further sounds. For some reason, he had the ability to sleep through blasting metal music more-so than he could from anything else. Finally, for the first time all morning, he passed the hell out. And now he had something to actually look forward to when he woke up.

** Too bad Hidan didn't think of putting on music in the first place, haha. But then again, there would be no story if that was the case. And basically I pay $4 per box of girl scouts cookies whenever I buy them so I used that price as a reference and converted it into yen lol.**


End file.
